[ Something's off. It's a nagging in him, one that Robby can't initially pinpoint, because he's still getting used to that: recognising what's his feelings and not, and what means anything, or not much at all. For the way they felt against each other immediately after their bond was made, Mob is quiet, soft--a stirring now and then that catches Robby's attention, but more receptive in those moments he focuses on the other boy.
Because he doesn't forget about the bond. There's those moments he wants to peek, and while their bond an emotional one, curiosity is a feeling too. It becomes easy to know when him or Mob are feeling something about the other--like the other turning their head towards them, a presence.
But right now, there's a point where he can't be confused about the feelings from the other, regardless of his exclusion. It's like a welling balloon inside of him, a pressure kept from bursting from self-control.
He tries feeling in Mob's direction, an 'alright?' signalled by concern. But Mob's distracted, and as the feeling goes, Robby switches to his omni. A few messages sent, and now he wishes he could contact the guy's omen. Can he do that? He'll figure it out later. ]
mob. everything ok?
where are u
tell me if u need to get away
[ There's a panic in Robby of what could be going on, the guilt and emotions swirling from Mob's side. He can't be feeling like that--he needs to keep his cool, so he keeps his hands on his omni, breathes; thinks about the quiet of the world he always goes to clear his head, and reaches out.
He makes himself known, calm and concerned, but most of all present. A reminder: I'm here.
And hopefully, his feelings can do their job and wash over Mob, bring down that tension in himself. If only he's doing this right. ]
it's easy to when usually it isn't. largely it's easy to because everything he's feeling during the fight, after, he carefully packs away. it's funny, he's spoken to enough people here about power and emotion he can't exactly deny what he's doing isn't good. he knows if someone else was deconstructing themselves this way, pressing their feelings down until they were pressure under the skin, denying their feelings purchase- well, if someone else was he'd be worried about them. he wouldn't think it was a smart idea. he'd think it was sad.
master reigen told him he's like everyone else. it's something he clings to, even if in moments like these sometimes it stings, just a little. part of him wants to be able to explain to people the scope of things. just how dangerous he is, how tied that danger is to how he feels, how he doesn't know what to do besides this. how ritsu's right to say some of what he said. everything's worse if he's upset. this place was made for someone like him.
he's still standing in the living room when his omni pings. a slow blink and he looks at it, suddenly remembering some of what swirled in his head was robby now. robby's feelings that got packed away with his own, and when he finally allows himself to look he senses calm. he feels calm, not his own but it's undeniably easing his shoulders from their tense line.
a calm that makes a spike of grief crack it's way out of the box before it's sealed again. he really upset ritsu with this bond. he was just trying to do what was right by his little brother, but he hurt him instead.]
i'm home
sorry
[it takes a minute, as he struggles. between his thoughts wanting to take bad turns and robby's calm he's teetering between 91% and 92% quickly, back and forth.]
sorry to worry you
[getting away though, that might be a good idea. he's not sure if they woke up sunny and makima, but mob's... he doesn't want to get upset and hurt the house. hurt them. he already barely managed not to break the windows when ritsu left.]
i need to get away can we go somewhere away from everyone?
[ The omni goes off in his hands, and the rolling calm (like a breeze more than the waves of water; a forest before a sea) is startled by the excitement of anticipation. A relief as Robby sees it's from Mob, and he reads the messages as they come through.
He'll ask for details later. Right now, swallowing down his own worry to focus on what's needed: ]
head to the beach. ill meet you there ask your omen to light the way and take an incense ok? dont worry about me
focus on me if it helps
[ If that even means anything. But these bonds help people, and this isn't corruption, but isn't it similar, close enough? It's a direction that tells Robby to keep calm too, don't worry, though that lingers in the immediate. But he's already out of his own bed, a sweater put on over his pyjama top, and Robby leaves his room to put finish prepping for going outside. The nights are still cold, and not all of the street lights work, always; but Robby's followed his own advice and has his omen out to guide him, his own incense lit, a small pot dangling from a string attached to his belt.
He rushes, but only some; not wanting a panic to overtake him, but to keep his head cool, don't worry. Even if there's a good reason to, even if he could think about what might happen--
Robby doesn't. He heads for the boardwalk that borders the streets and the beaches of the farther shores, and he breathes in the bitter salt air that usually clings to the sea and sand, the wood of the stretching path, and follows his omen's guidance. Its eyes blink with brightened lights to catch Mob and his omen's attention once they're near, for a signal to be returned.
And when one is, Robby activates the tattoo on his back--just in case. ]
[mob's omen has been watching from the stairs since the fight started, watches him now as it pads over. frankly mob's not sure if his omen likes him much sometimes, they have a kind of weird relationship. his omen does want to protect him at least, grabbing his back with the incense with his teeth and walking over.
focusing on robby is easier too. it helps settle his emotions to a blank nothing besides the pressure that doesn't let up. he's used to living with that so it doesn't really bother him aside from a sliver of caution he knows he needs.
thankfully robby mentioned the incense because he wouldn't have thought of it. he lights it before heading out, forgetting to leave a note for sunny and makima like he probably should. the walk is quiet, his omen padding ahead as he tries not to think about anything. once and a while the blankness has a flare of worry burst though- he hopes ritsu is okay. where did he go? somewhere safe, right?
he doesn't want mob to worry about him though, so mob makes the attempt not to. it doesn't work. he doesn't know how not to care about ritsu, he always has for as long as he can remember.
when he sees robby shibe trots ahead, taking a seat near robby's feet as mob come up slower. it's good to be away from everyone, just a little bit of that pressure inside him easing out into the air now that there's no glass to break or metal to bend. (91% firmly now)]
Sorry, I didn't mean to cause you trouble. [he says quietly] You must have been sleeping.
[ Each worry is like a pulse, and Robby takes it in quietly. It stirs his own worry, but he can bat it down, telling himself (telling them both), it's okay, it's okay. He's never thought himself a beacon of calm, but he knows how emotions can bubble, burst--he knows what this world is like with them, and how distress can lead to a corrupted mine.
He's glad when he finally sees the pair. Shibe gets a quiet "Hey there", a fond thing, and a tone that lingers as he hears Mob speak. ]
You're good. You wanna keep walking? [ He nods his head back, and, it's not really the question he wants to ask, the one he's unsure of. Does Mob want to walk near him, or for them to keep their distance? He hopes that Mob will say something, though his feet itch underneath him.
It's Lucas who goes up to Mob instead, regardless, as if having an answer to whatever happens. An exchange of omens, with the creature's eyes dimming in their light as it looks up at Mob by his legs, before rubbing its head against one.
It's a being of smoke--what does it have to fear of explosions? ]
[shibe butts his head against robby's leg. he seems kind of sad in a weird way, a resigned way. it doesn't surprise mob, his omen loved ritsu so he was probably upset about all that.
the question gives him pause, trying again to push down several things that are bubbling up. he is keeping a distance at the moment, several feet away unlike his omen. distance is probably good.
but a very good, smokey boy comes over anyway, and robby gets to feel how that sparks a mix of that grief again, like this little act of kindness from lucas cracked his resolve to keep that pushed under. a swirl of gratitude with it before it's all pushed back down (92%, 91%, 92%, 91%) and settles.
he kneels, reaching and pausing before petting lucas, like asking for permission. he doesn't answer robby's question, distracted from it, but he does answer something probably more important.] Ritsu got hurt by the plants. Then we had a fight.
[ Robby can just reach Shibe's head where he's standing, so he does ruffle his head some. Lucas stands quietly after his own head bump, but he does lower his head when Mob's hand pauses in place, permission granted. Its head even showing more in its catahoula state, along with the rest of its body.
Maybe Mob wants to stay right here for now, so Robby mimics the other, lowering to rub the side of Shibe's face more. He's thinking about Ritsu, and those sparks he felt; the other boy's upset being reminded to him, a spat he thinks he can relate to.
[as always petting a dog helps. it makes mob's careful neutrality waver again as he pets lucas, blinking rapidly a moment.] Thanks Luc. [yes, still says it like 'luck.'
he feels a tiny bit better (90%) even when robby asks that and the answer isn't good.]
I don't know. He left the house. [sorry luc, back up to 91%, 92% because he can't be sure if ritsu is safe or not. and he can't ask.] I should know where he is, but he told me he doesn't want me worrying about him anymore. I... I know that doesn't matter, because he's my brother and I'm going to worry about him, and I'm going to help him, but-
[time to just go quiet again. shibe leans a little against robby's leg, a little sad doggy huff.] Maybe he's right about some things.
[ Have a very receptive head for the time that good boy petting persists.
Even though Lucas -- or Luck -- knows as well as Robby does that gnawing worry that exists. A dulled one, a lid being kept on top, but that still pushes against their link.
This is what being on the outside of his dad drama must be like, Robby figures. Even without the link, the mood of Mob--and Shibe--is palpable, though Mob may be more muted than most people. But when it shows itself, it's meaningful, telling for how well Mob's usually not doing.
Robby can sympathise. It's not an intentionally directed feeling, but it's there. ]
About what?
[ He wants to know what's on Mob's mind. What's bothering him, along with everything else stated. ]
About how things are worse if I'm worried or upset.
[the petting remains soothing, he focuses on it a bit as he talks. it makes the bond especially muted but it's a lot easier to talk about this when he isn't really feeling anything about it at the same time.]
We can't... be like normal brothers, because if I'm worried or upset like a normal brother would be then bad things can happen. He's had to worry about that a lot when we were growing up, we can't even have normal fights because he has to worry about that. I thought things were getting better, back home, but we're here now and he's worrying about it again.
And I am too. I didn't do the bond with him because- because I didn't want him to see my feelings.
[ Lucky Luck will shift just to sit down on his butt, but will remain very accessible. Robby listens, his hand resting behind Shibe's ears, but he's not using him as a distraction like Mob's doing for his omen.
He just listens to Mob, his small incense pot wafting where it hangs. ]
There's nothing you can do about how your brother's feeling. You can do a bond with him, but--he needs to be ready to listen, and you both need to understand each other. Maybe he's just upset about the bond. [ A pause, and- ] I don't blame him. He got mad at me a couple days ago.
And that's alright, [ he continues, before Mob can say or feel anything about that, reassurance firm. ] I'm some guy who's good enough for his brother to have a bond with he's been hanging out here all this time? [ His tone is mocking, but it ends there. ]
You two...still need to learn to speak to each other. You're gonna have bumps like this. Give him time--but keep letting him know you're there and want this to work between you, alright?
He did? [that makes mob glance up, a little surprised. it shouldn't be surprising, he knows ritsu isn't happy about the bond. the whole fight ended on that note, after all, and he kind of guessed that ritsu may be lying even before that when he said he was okay with it.
it's not like he can't understand. if ritsu wanted to get a bond with someone else and not him it'd hurt his feelings too. he just thought maybe ritsu understood he did want to get a bond with him, he was just trying to be careful. he was scared.]
I'm sorry, Ritsu can be kind of mean sometimes. [even without knowing the context he knows his brother when he gets in a mood. if he was feeling bad enough to be rude to someone older than him he was definitely in a mood, mob thinks. he offers a little bow without thinking about it- probably clear from the bond he has a little bit of experience apologizing for ritsu. only that one really bad time but still.] But he doesn't mean any harm.
[that older brother duty aside he considers what robby says, the blanket neutrality over his feelings shifting a bit. there's something to what robby's saying that sticks out.] To learn how to speak to each other... maybe that's true. It's just hard, because... well, what I said. How can you speak openly with someone it's dangerous to upset?
[a little flare of hurt there before down it goes.]
[ Well....the bow wasn't expected. He really didn't mind Ritsu being pissed at him, but he's been around Chizuru to get enough awkward bows that he can brush it off. Ah, to be a senpai...
But seeing as he's kneeling, and it seems they might be here a while, Robby shifts his weight some to get more comfortable. Paused for a moment, and there's a flutter--of something lonelier, a vague reminder of a father. ]
You do it because you want things to change, [ he answers, soft around the edges. ] That's what we wanted to do here, and what you wanted back home, right? It's not easy. But... it never was going to be. You have to deal with this too--people say shitty things when they're upset.
[ Even if they're true. There's that edge of a joke there, a tug at Robby's mouth that's not really a smile. Because this wasn't just about Ritsu's feelings, but how Mob was going to deal with it, and if they could make Mob's explosions any better.
He looks out towards the sea as he asks, ] What do you think would happen if you let it all out? On the beach.
[chizuru is ultimate practice for this kind of thing, thankfully.
mob vaguely notices the flutter, and with it finally thinks of the fact robby isn't exactly new to weird, complicated family stuff. it makes him feel better, in a small way. also a little guilty, robby already deals with a lot, but this bond was supposed to be able this kind of thing. sharing when things were calm and when they were tough.
that was a good point though, what robby says. he settles more into just sitting, legs crossing as he considers it all.] It's worth it even if it's hard. It's Ritsu. I guess I'm just afraid maybe he would be better off without me around.
[another beat and he says] I don't think he wants that though.
[he could think on that for a long time but robby's suggestion surprises him a little. uneases flickers through the bond, though not rejection.] The beach would get pretty messed up? And you might get hurt. I... don't really know. I've never done that before on purpose.
[ That, they can be in agreement of. But he's considering this next part carefully, his own idea. He looks at Mob's omen, then back to the boy himself. ]
We could see if it makes you feel better. I can move back. [ If Mob wants him to. ] But... you have the space. Maybe--letting it out can make you feel better for once.
[ There's nothing certain about the suggestion. Being certain would imply either of them knew, when they're both searching the dark about this. What will help, what won't? But that pressure in Mob--it's still there, even if he's pushing down on it.
The time before Mob exploded, it wasn't that big. They could be well on the sand, and nothing but that and maybe the water will get caught in it.
And maybe--just maybe--Mob might feel better. Wouldn't it be a good thing? ]
[there's a little hint of hope through the bond. he wants to believe that. he kind of already knows ritsu doesn't actually want him gone, but he isn't entirely sure. hearing robby say it is nice.
he stands after a moment, staring out at the sea.] Maybe... I guess it might be worth trying. [robby's ideas have been good so far, and this made sense. if he wore all this out before it got out of control that would help, probably.
it does become very clear very fast mob doesn't really know how to let go. when he tries to dig into his feelings about everything, let his aura flare out, it ends up jittering back to his baseline. there's tiny bits of frustration as he tries to figure it out, tries to let go.
but it isn't working. sand lifts and swirls a bit before settling, his hair lifting a bit before he lets it fall with a very faint frown. he looks back to robby, something a little like shame through the bond.] I don't know how.
[ Robby watches Mob as he moves away (with Luck in tow...don't want Mob to be lonely), a low level anticipation that swings in no particular emotional direction. What will happen? Will Mob feel any better? --but only doing it will find them out, so he focuses more on watching than thinking, feeling.
And there's the stirrings, both visually and inside, but--there's a block, isn't there? There's no rise of emotion like earlier, when he wasn't being asked to do this, and Robby chews on his bottom lip as Mob looks over to him.
He looks down at the omen beside him, a furrowed brow. Quietly: ] Think this a good idea?
[ He has doubts, but he stands too. Uncertainty with him, but Robby breathes it down, speaks louder: ]
You don't know, or you don't want to? Your brother said he can't speak to you 'cause it's not safe. That didn't hurt? He's out there and he even won't let you help him -- and maybe you deserve it, right? You're his big brother, but he's the one who has to think about and worry about you.
[ He's laying it on, a harshest in his voice, and a force in his heart like indignation. A belief, because this is everything Mob's already told him. Robby steps closer ontoo the sand, but still with some distance between them. ]
You wanna be that brother? You think carrying that back home is better than getting it out now? You're a ticking time bomb--accept you're mad and get it out!
mob blinks, a little surprised but- the words are right. they're harsh and hurt a bit but they were already hurting. sort of like ripping off a bandaid, he guesses. robby's trying to show him a way to do this, and it involves looking at his feelings more.
that's scary. (97%) but he's right. he needs to look at them. if he goes home like this-
he thinks about ritsu. the bond might start to spark with hurt, then frustration, just a little. snippets of their fight if robby's looking close enough, and mob's hands curl into fists, throat going a little bit tight. he thinks about how they've been doing better and now they aren't. he thinks about how he's scared to bond with ritsu and that's the problem.
he thinks for a moment about ritsu little and bleeding on the pavement, a faint flash of that. (98%) about how they can't even fight like brothers. (99%)
the emotions that ends up peeking through isn't frustration, or horror, or fear, even though those swirl around in his head. his eyes start to bead with tears and when the scale tips over he lets out a little choked sob because what the fight really mad him feel was... sad. a little hopeless.
100%
it starts to rain, icy rain from clouds forming, the wind starting to whip up. luck might start to float a bit with the sand, which lifts. mob's hair lifts, robby's hair, the pressure in the area is intense, more so closer to mob. the rain is basically coming down in sheets then floating and whirling around, making everything a murky storm.
and mob's crying, the kind of choked, uncontrolled sobs of a kid his age. the bond is probably a little too intense with that, radiating grief like a leak into robby's head. it's possible his powers are leaking through too, so potentially enjoy the buzz of psychic energy down to your fingertips robby. you can now do cool psychic tricks for a while if you like.
probably not a good time, given there's a teen just sobbing in the middle of a hurricane. there's definitely debris flying around too from the wind, so. be careful.]
[ Before the explosion starts, it's like swallowing too much unintentionally: the emotions that push against their bond more, the memories, snippets, mixing with the feelings of the past and the present. They mingle with Robby's own, and he knows this kind of hurt. He knows hopelessness, pointed in and out, and feeling so incapable and stuck. You just want things to be better. You don't want (a mother) family to hurt.
(He might not know the feeling of being a risk to the world, but he knows about feeling isolated from it.)
The omen doesn't attempt to keep its form as the winds pick up. It's not emotions alone that pushed into Robby but the energy with it, that psychic energy--a force he's only ever been accustomed to under Mob's control (well, apart from the one time). He doesn't know how to exist with it, and it threatens to buckle him more than the rain and force. His protection is working; not to stop his vision blurry from the hail and the turbulent winds blowing, but there's an aura that keeps them off--maybe even Mob's psychic energy mingling with it, although it doesn't have to be unintentional.
Because what Robby used to is this tingling feedback, the manner it can help; and some part of him is remembering that, the times it's been used to protect him. A barrier, a buffer--he can't control it, wild as it is, unskilled as he. But it's an attempt, one that's in the back of his mind for what Robby can handle:
Emotions.
He's shit at them, in truth. He feels and cares too much and he's scared more than he ever likes to admit. But for as choking as these emotions are, Robby knows them. The sadness, the insecurity--he's been this many times at Mob's age, younger and older. His eyes water, his throat tightens, but he doesn't back away from them: Robby accepts. He doesn't try to smother them, soothe the pain, but in that intensity of their bond Robby feels to Mob what he can't say; coloured by his grief, but even so:
Let it out.
Luck can't be seen any longer next to Mob, but he probably isn't looking. But don't worry, if he does panic and think about the good boy--he slipped into Mob's warmblood necklace in the mayhem, his presence still felt. Hello, it's safer here...
Robby will need to keep down too, with the high winds blowing him over once. Let's hope that kneeling will help--and this protection.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
night before ~the incident~ // un: kickflips, text
Because he doesn't forget about the bond. There's those moments he wants to peek, and while their bond an emotional one, curiosity is a feeling too. It becomes easy to know when him or Mob are feeling something about the other--like the other turning their head towards them, a presence.
But right now, there's a point where he can't be confused about the feelings from the other, regardless of his exclusion. It's like a welling balloon inside of him, a pressure kept from bursting from self-control.
He tries feeling in Mob's direction, an 'alright?' signalled by concern. But Mob's distracted, and as the feeling goes, Robby switches to his omni. A few messages sent, and now he wishes he could contact the guy's omen. Can he do that? He'll figure it out later. ]
mob. everything ok?
where are u
tell me if u need to get away
[ There's a panic in Robby of what could be going on, the guilt and emotions swirling from Mob's side. He can't be feeling like that--he needs to keep his cool, so he keeps his hands on his omni, breathes; thinks about the quiet of the world he always goes to clear his head, and reaches out.
He makes himself known, calm and concerned, but most of all present. A reminder: I'm here.
And hopefully, his feelings can do their job and wash over Mob, bring down that tension in himself. If only he's doing this right. ]
night of the last day, 12 hours remain...
it's easy to when usually it isn't. largely it's easy to because everything he's feeling during the fight, after, he carefully packs away. it's funny, he's spoken to enough people here about power and emotion he can't exactly deny what he's doing isn't good. he knows if someone else was deconstructing themselves this way, pressing their feelings down until they were pressure under the skin, denying their feelings purchase- well, if someone else was he'd be worried about them. he wouldn't think it was a smart idea. he'd think it was sad.
master reigen told him he's like everyone else. it's something he clings to, even if in moments like these sometimes it stings, just a little. part of him wants to be able to explain to people the scope of things. just how dangerous he is, how tied that danger is to how he feels, how he doesn't know what to do besides this. how ritsu's right to say some of what he said. everything's worse if he's upset. this place was made for someone like him.
he's still standing in the living room when his omni pings. a slow blink and he looks at it, suddenly remembering some of what swirled in his head was robby now. robby's feelings that got packed away with his own, and when he finally allows himself to look he senses calm. he feels calm, not his own but it's undeniably easing his shoulders from their tense line.
a calm that makes a spike of grief crack it's way out of the box before it's sealed again. he really upset ritsu with this bond. he was just trying to do what was right by his little brother, but he hurt him instead.]
i'm home
sorry
[it takes a minute, as he struggles. between his thoughts wanting to take bad turns and robby's calm he's teetering between 91% and 92% quickly, back and forth.]
sorry to worry you
[getting away though, that might be a good idea. he's not sure if they woke up sunny and makima, but mob's... he doesn't want to get upset and hurt the house. hurt them. he already barely managed not to break the windows when ritsu left.]
i need to get away
can we go somewhere away from everyone?
😳
He'll ask for details later. Right now, swallowing down his own worry to focus on what's needed: ]
head to the beach. ill meet you there
ask your omen to light the way and take an incense ok?
dont worry about me
focus on me if it helps
[ If that even means anything. But these bonds help people, and this isn't corruption, but isn't it similar, close enough? It's a direction that tells Robby to keep calm too, don't worry, though that lingers in the immediate. But he's already out of his own bed, a sweater put on over his pyjama top, and Robby leaves his room to put finish prepping for going outside. The nights are still cold, and not all of the street lights work, always; but Robby's followed his own advice and has his omen out to guide him, his own incense lit, a small pot dangling from a string attached to his belt.
He rushes, but only some; not wanting a panic to overtake him, but to keep his head cool, don't worry. Even if there's a good reason to, even if he could think about what might happen--
Robby doesn't. He heads for the boardwalk that borders the streets and the beaches of the farther shores, and he breathes in the bitter salt air that usually clings to the sea and sand, the wood of the stretching path, and follows his omen's guidance. Its eyes blink with brightened lights to catch Mob and his omen's attention once they're near, for a signal to be returned.
And when one is, Robby activates the tattoo on his back--just in case. ]
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[mob's omen has been watching from the stairs since the fight started, watches him now as it pads over. frankly mob's not sure if his omen likes him much sometimes, they have a kind of weird relationship. his omen does want to protect him at least, grabbing his back with the incense with his teeth and walking over.
focusing on robby is easier too. it helps settle his emotions to a blank nothing besides the pressure that doesn't let up. he's used to living with that so it doesn't really bother him aside from a sliver of caution he knows he needs.
thankfully robby mentioned the incense because he wouldn't have thought of it. he lights it before heading out, forgetting to leave a note for sunny and makima like he probably should. the walk is quiet, his omen padding ahead as he tries not to think about anything. once and a while the blankness has a flare of worry burst though- he hopes ritsu is okay. where did he go? somewhere safe, right?
he doesn't want mob to worry about him though, so mob makes the attempt not to. it doesn't work. he doesn't know how not to care about ritsu, he always has for as long as he can remember.
when he sees robby shibe trots ahead, taking a seat near robby's feet as mob come up slower. it's good to be away from everyone, just a little bit of that pressure inside him easing out into the air now that there's no glass to break or metal to bend. (91% firmly now)]
Sorry, I didn't mean to cause you trouble. [he says quietly] You must have been sleeping.
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He's glad when he finally sees the pair. Shibe gets a quiet "Hey there", a fond thing, and a tone that lingers as he hears Mob speak. ]
You're good. You wanna keep walking? [ He nods his head back, and, it's not really the question he wants to ask, the one he's unsure of. Does Mob want to walk near him, or for them to keep their distance? He hopes that Mob will say something, though his feet itch underneath him.
It's Lucas who goes up to Mob instead, regardless, as if having an answer to whatever happens. An exchange of omens, with the creature's eyes dimming in their light as it looks up at Mob by his legs, before rubbing its head against one.
It's a being of smoke--what does it have to fear of explosions? ]
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the question gives him pause, trying again to push down several things that are bubbling up. he is keeping a distance at the moment, several feet away unlike his omen. distance is probably good.
but a very good, smokey boy comes over anyway, and robby gets to feel how that sparks a mix of that grief again, like this little act of kindness from lucas cracked his resolve to keep that pushed under. a swirl of gratitude with it before it's all pushed back down (92%, 91%, 92%, 91%) and settles.
he kneels, reaching and pausing before petting lucas, like asking for permission. he doesn't answer robby's question, distracted from it, but he does answer something probably more important.] Ritsu got hurt by the plants. Then we had a fight.
He's mad at me, and he's hurt.
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Maybe Mob wants to stay right here for now, so Robby mimics the other, lowering to rub the side of Shibe's face more. He's thinking about Ritsu, and those sparks he felt; the other boy's upset being reminded to him, a spat he thinks he can relate to.
But first: ] Where's he now?
[ At home? Did he leave? ]
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he feels a tiny bit better (90%) even when robby asks that and the answer isn't good.]
I don't know. He left the house. [sorry luc, back up to 91%, 92% because he can't be sure if ritsu is safe or not. and he can't ask.] I should know where he is, but he told me he doesn't want me worrying about him anymore. I... I know that doesn't matter, because he's my brother and I'm going to worry about him, and I'm going to help him, but-
[time to just go quiet again. shibe leans a little against robby's leg, a little sad doggy huff.] Maybe he's right about some things.
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Even though Lucas -- or Luck -- knows as well as Robby does that gnawing worry that exists. A dulled one, a lid being kept on top, but that still pushes against their link.
This is what being on the outside of his dad drama must be like, Robby figures. Even without the link, the mood of Mob--and Shibe--is palpable, though Mob may be more muted than most people. But when it shows itself, it's meaningful, telling for how well Mob's usually not doing.
Robby can sympathise. It's not an intentionally directed feeling, but it's there. ]
About what?
[ He wants to know what's on Mob's mind. What's bothering him, along with everything else stated. ]
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[the petting remains soothing, he focuses on it a bit as he talks. it makes the bond especially muted but it's a lot easier to talk about this when he isn't really feeling anything about it at the same time.]
We can't... be like normal brothers, because if I'm worried or upset like a normal brother would be then bad things can happen. He's had to worry about that a lot when we were growing up, we can't even have normal fights because he has to worry about that. I thought things were getting better, back home, but we're here now and he's worrying about it again.
And I am too. I didn't do the bond with him because- because I didn't want him to see my feelings.
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He just listens to Mob, his small incense pot wafting where it hangs. ]
There's nothing you can do about how your brother's feeling. You can do a bond with him, but--he needs to be ready to listen, and you both need to understand each other. Maybe he's just upset about the bond. [ A pause, and- ] I don't blame him. He got mad at me a couple days ago.
And that's alright, [ he continues, before Mob can say or feel anything about that, reassurance firm. ] I'm some guy who's good enough for his brother to have a bond with he's been hanging out here all this time? [ His tone is mocking, but it ends there. ]
You two...still need to learn to speak to each other. You're gonna have bumps like this. Give him time--but keep letting him know you're there and want this to work between you, alright?
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it's not like he can't understand. if ritsu wanted to get a bond with someone else and not him it'd hurt his feelings too. he just thought maybe ritsu understood he did want to get a bond with him, he was just trying to be careful. he was scared.]
I'm sorry, Ritsu can be kind of mean sometimes. [even without knowing the context he knows his brother when he gets in a mood. if he was feeling bad enough to be rude to someone older than him he was definitely in a mood, mob thinks. he offers a little bow without thinking about it- probably clear from the bond he has a little bit of experience apologizing for ritsu. only that one really bad time but still.] But he doesn't mean any harm.
[that older brother duty aside he considers what robby says, the blanket neutrality over his feelings shifting a bit. there's something to what robby's saying that sticks out.] To learn how to speak to each other... maybe that's true. It's just hard, because... well, what I said. How can you speak openly with someone it's dangerous to upset?
[a little flare of hurt there before down it goes.]
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But seeing as he's kneeling, and it seems they might be here a while, Robby shifts his weight some to get more comfortable. Paused for a moment, and there's a flutter--of something lonelier, a vague reminder of a father. ]
You do it because you want things to change, [ he answers, soft around the edges. ] That's what we wanted to do here, and what you wanted back home, right? It's not easy. But... it never was going to be. You have to deal with this too--people say shitty things when they're upset.
[ Even if they're true. There's that edge of a joke there, a tug at Robby's mouth that's not really a smile. Because this wasn't just about Ritsu's feelings, but how Mob was going to deal with it, and if they could make Mob's explosions any better.
He looks out towards the sea as he asks, ] What do you think would happen if you let it all out? On the beach.
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mob vaguely notices the flutter, and with it finally thinks of the fact robby isn't exactly new to weird, complicated family stuff. it makes him feel better, in a small way. also a little guilty, robby already deals with a lot, but this bond was supposed to be able this kind of thing. sharing when things were calm and when they were tough.
that was a good point though, what robby says. he settles more into just sitting, legs crossing as he considers it all.] It's worth it even if it's hard. It's Ritsu. I guess I'm just afraid maybe he would be better off without me around.
[another beat and he says] I don't think he wants that though.
[he could think on that for a long time but robby's suggestion surprises him a little. uneases flickers through the bond, though not rejection.] The beach would get pretty messed up? And you might get hurt. I... don't really know. I've never done that before on purpose.
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[ That, they can be in agreement of. But he's considering this next part carefully, his own idea. He looks at Mob's omen, then back to the boy himself. ]
We could see if it makes you feel better. I can move back. [ If Mob wants him to. ] But... you have the space. Maybe--letting it out can make you feel better for once.
[ There's nothing certain about the suggestion. Being certain would imply either of them knew, when they're both searching the dark about this. What will help, what won't? But that pressure in Mob--it's still there, even if he's pushing down on it.
The time before Mob exploded, it wasn't that big. They could be well on the sand, and nothing but that and maybe the water will get caught in it.
And maybe--just maybe--Mob might feel better. Wouldn't it be a good thing? ]
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he stands after a moment, staring out at the sea.] Maybe... I guess it might be worth trying. [robby's ideas have been good so far, and this made sense. if he wore all this out before it got out of control that would help, probably.
it does become very clear very fast mob doesn't really know how to let go. when he tries to dig into his feelings about everything, let his aura flare out, it ends up jittering back to his baseline. there's tiny bits of frustration as he tries to figure it out, tries to let go.
but it isn't working. sand lifts and swirls a bit before settling, his hair lifting a bit before he lets it fall with a very faint frown. he looks back to robby, something a little like shame through the bond.] I don't know how.
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And there's the stirrings, both visually and inside, but--there's a block, isn't there? There's no rise of emotion like earlier, when he wasn't being asked to do this, and Robby chews on his bottom lip as Mob looks over to him.
He looks down at the omen beside him, a furrowed brow. Quietly: ] Think this a good idea?
[ He has doubts, but he stands too. Uncertainty with him, but Robby breathes it down, speaks louder: ]
You don't know, or you don't want to? Your brother said he can't speak to you 'cause it's not safe. That didn't hurt? He's out there and he even won't let you help him -- and maybe you deserve it, right? You're his big brother, but he's the one who has to think about and worry about you.
[ He's laying it on, a harshest in his voice, and a force in his heart like indignation. A belief, because this is everything Mob's already told him. Robby steps closer ontoo the sand, but still with some distance between them. ]
You wanna be that brother? You think carrying that back home is better than getting it out now? You're a ticking time bomb--accept you're mad and get it out!
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mob blinks, a little surprised but- the words are right. they're harsh and hurt a bit but they were already hurting. sort of like ripping off a bandaid, he guesses. robby's trying to show him a way to do this, and it involves looking at his feelings more.
that's scary. (97%) but he's right. he needs to look at them. if he goes home like this-
he thinks about ritsu. the bond might start to spark with hurt, then frustration, just a little. snippets of their fight if robby's looking close enough, and mob's hands curl into fists, throat going a little bit tight. he thinks about how they've been doing better and now they aren't. he thinks about how he's scared to bond with ritsu and that's the problem.
he thinks for a moment about ritsu little and bleeding on the pavement, a faint flash of that. (98%) about how they can't even fight like brothers. (99%)
the emotions that ends up peeking through isn't frustration, or horror, or fear, even though those swirl around in his head. his eyes start to bead with tears and when the scale tips over he lets out a little choked sob because what the fight really mad him feel was... sad. a little hopeless.
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it starts to rain, icy rain from clouds forming, the wind starting to whip up. luck might start to float a bit with the sand, which lifts. mob's hair lifts, robby's hair, the pressure in the area is intense, more so closer to mob. the rain is basically coming down in sheets then floating and whirling around, making everything a murky storm.
and mob's crying, the kind of choked, uncontrolled sobs of a kid his age. the bond is probably a little too intense with that, radiating grief like a leak into robby's head. it's possible his powers are leaking through too, so potentially enjoy the buzz of psychic energy down to your fingertips robby. you can now do cool psychic tricks for a while if you like.
probably not a good time, given there's a teen just sobbing in the middle of a hurricane. there's definitely debris flying around too from the wind, so. be careful.]
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(He might not know the feeling of being a risk to the world, but he knows about feeling isolated from it.)
The omen doesn't attempt to keep its form as the winds pick up. It's not emotions alone that pushed into Robby but the energy with it, that psychic energy--a force he's only ever been accustomed to under Mob's control (well, apart from the one time). He doesn't know how to exist with it, and it threatens to buckle him more than the rain and force. His protection is working; not to stop his vision blurry from the hail and the turbulent winds blowing, but there's an aura that keeps them off--maybe even Mob's psychic energy mingling with it, although it doesn't have to be unintentional.
Because what Robby used to is this tingling feedback, the manner it can help; and some part of him is remembering that, the times it's been used to protect him. A barrier, a buffer--he can't control it, wild as it is, unskilled as he. But it's an attempt, one that's in the back of his mind for what Robby can handle:
Emotions.
He's shit at them, in truth. He feels and cares too much and he's scared more than he ever likes to admit. But for as choking as these emotions are, Robby knows them. The sadness, the insecurity--he's been this many times at Mob's age, younger and older. His eyes water, his throat tightens, but he doesn't back away from them: Robby accepts. He doesn't try to smother them, soothe the pain, but in that intensity of their bond Robby feels to Mob what he can't say; coloured by his grief, but even so:
Let it out.
Luck can't be seen any longer next to Mob, but he probably isn't looking. But don't worry, if he does panic and think about the good boy--he slipped into Mob's warmblood necklace in the mayhem, his presence still felt. Hello, it's safer here...
Robby will need to keep down too, with the high winds blowing him over once. Let's hope that kneeling will help--and this protection.
Just long enough for Mob to get it all out. ]