[as always petting a dog helps. it makes mob's careful neutrality waver again as he pets lucas, blinking rapidly a moment.] Thanks Luc. [yes, still says it like 'luck.'
he feels a tiny bit better (90%) even when robby asks that and the answer isn't good.]
I don't know. He left the house. [sorry luc, back up to 91%, 92% because he can't be sure if ritsu is safe or not. and he can't ask.] I should know where he is, but he told me he doesn't want me worrying about him anymore. I... I know that doesn't matter, because he's my brother and I'm going to worry about him, and I'm going to help him, but-
[time to just go quiet again. shibe leans a little against robby's leg, a little sad doggy huff.] Maybe he's right about some things.
[ Have a very receptive head for the time that good boy petting persists.
Even though Lucas -- or Luck -- knows as well as Robby does that gnawing worry that exists. A dulled one, a lid being kept on top, but that still pushes against their link.
This is what being on the outside of his dad drama must be like, Robby figures. Even without the link, the mood of Mob--and Shibe--is palpable, though Mob may be more muted than most people. But when it shows itself, it's meaningful, telling for how well Mob's usually not doing.
Robby can sympathise. It's not an intentionally directed feeling, but it's there. ]
About what?
[ He wants to know what's on Mob's mind. What's bothering him, along with everything else stated. ]
About how things are worse if I'm worried or upset.
[the petting remains soothing, he focuses on it a bit as he talks. it makes the bond especially muted but it's a lot easier to talk about this when he isn't really feeling anything about it at the same time.]
We can't... be like normal brothers, because if I'm worried or upset like a normal brother would be then bad things can happen. He's had to worry about that a lot when we were growing up, we can't even have normal fights because he has to worry about that. I thought things were getting better, back home, but we're here now and he's worrying about it again.
And I am too. I didn't do the bond with him because- because I didn't want him to see my feelings.
[ Lucky Luck will shift just to sit down on his butt, but will remain very accessible. Robby listens, his hand resting behind Shibe's ears, but he's not using him as a distraction like Mob's doing for his omen.
He just listens to Mob, his small incense pot wafting where it hangs. ]
There's nothing you can do about how your brother's feeling. You can do a bond with him, but--he needs to be ready to listen, and you both need to understand each other. Maybe he's just upset about the bond. [ A pause, and- ] I don't blame him. He got mad at me a couple days ago.
And that's alright, [ he continues, before Mob can say or feel anything about that, reassurance firm. ] I'm some guy who's good enough for his brother to have a bond with he's been hanging out here all this time? [ His tone is mocking, but it ends there. ]
You two...still need to learn to speak to each other. You're gonna have bumps like this. Give him time--but keep letting him know you're there and want this to work between you, alright?
He did? [that makes mob glance up, a little surprised. it shouldn't be surprising, he knows ritsu isn't happy about the bond. the whole fight ended on that note, after all, and he kind of guessed that ritsu may be lying even before that when he said he was okay with it.
it's not like he can't understand. if ritsu wanted to get a bond with someone else and not him it'd hurt his feelings too. he just thought maybe ritsu understood he did want to get a bond with him, he was just trying to be careful. he was scared.]
I'm sorry, Ritsu can be kind of mean sometimes. [even without knowing the context he knows his brother when he gets in a mood. if he was feeling bad enough to be rude to someone older than him he was definitely in a mood, mob thinks. he offers a little bow without thinking about it- probably clear from the bond he has a little bit of experience apologizing for ritsu. only that one really bad time but still.] But he doesn't mean any harm.
[that older brother duty aside he considers what robby says, the blanket neutrality over his feelings shifting a bit. there's something to what robby's saying that sticks out.] To learn how to speak to each other... maybe that's true. It's just hard, because... well, what I said. How can you speak openly with someone it's dangerous to upset?
[a little flare of hurt there before down it goes.]
[ Well....the bow wasn't expected. He really didn't mind Ritsu being pissed at him, but he's been around Chizuru to get enough awkward bows that he can brush it off. Ah, to be a senpai...
But seeing as he's kneeling, and it seems they might be here a while, Robby shifts his weight some to get more comfortable. Paused for a moment, and there's a flutter--of something lonelier, a vague reminder of a father. ]
You do it because you want things to change, [ he answers, soft around the edges. ] That's what we wanted to do here, and what you wanted back home, right? It's not easy. But... it never was going to be. You have to deal with this too--people say shitty things when they're upset.
[ Even if they're true. There's that edge of a joke there, a tug at Robby's mouth that's not really a smile. Because this wasn't just about Ritsu's feelings, but how Mob was going to deal with it, and if they could make Mob's explosions any better.
He looks out towards the sea as he asks, ] What do you think would happen if you let it all out? On the beach.
[chizuru is ultimate practice for this kind of thing, thankfully.
mob vaguely notices the flutter, and with it finally thinks of the fact robby isn't exactly new to weird, complicated family stuff. it makes him feel better, in a small way. also a little guilty, robby already deals with a lot, but this bond was supposed to be able this kind of thing. sharing when things were calm and when they were tough.
that was a good point though, what robby says. he settles more into just sitting, legs crossing as he considers it all.] It's worth it even if it's hard. It's Ritsu. I guess I'm just afraid maybe he would be better off without me around.
[another beat and he says] I don't think he wants that though.
[he could think on that for a long time but robby's suggestion surprises him a little. uneases flickers through the bond, though not rejection.] The beach would get pretty messed up? And you might get hurt. I... don't really know. I've never done that before on purpose.
[ That, they can be in agreement of. But he's considering this next part carefully, his own idea. He looks at Mob's omen, then back to the boy himself. ]
We could see if it makes you feel better. I can move back. [ If Mob wants him to. ] But... you have the space. Maybe--letting it out can make you feel better for once.
[ There's nothing certain about the suggestion. Being certain would imply either of them knew, when they're both searching the dark about this. What will help, what won't? But that pressure in Mob--it's still there, even if he's pushing down on it.
The time before Mob exploded, it wasn't that big. They could be well on the sand, and nothing but that and maybe the water will get caught in it.
And maybe--just maybe--Mob might feel better. Wouldn't it be a good thing? ]
[there's a little hint of hope through the bond. he wants to believe that. he kind of already knows ritsu doesn't actually want him gone, but he isn't entirely sure. hearing robby say it is nice.
he stands after a moment, staring out at the sea.] Maybe... I guess it might be worth trying. [robby's ideas have been good so far, and this made sense. if he wore all this out before it got out of control that would help, probably.
it does become very clear very fast mob doesn't really know how to let go. when he tries to dig into his feelings about everything, let his aura flare out, it ends up jittering back to his baseline. there's tiny bits of frustration as he tries to figure it out, tries to let go.
but it isn't working. sand lifts and swirls a bit before settling, his hair lifting a bit before he lets it fall with a very faint frown. he looks back to robby, something a little like shame through the bond.] I don't know how.
[ Robby watches Mob as he moves away (with Luck in tow...don't want Mob to be lonely), a low level anticipation that swings in no particular emotional direction. What will happen? Will Mob feel any better? --but only doing it will find them out, so he focuses more on watching than thinking, feeling.
And there's the stirrings, both visually and inside, but--there's a block, isn't there? There's no rise of emotion like earlier, when he wasn't being asked to do this, and Robby chews on his bottom lip as Mob looks over to him.
He looks down at the omen beside him, a furrowed brow. Quietly: ] Think this a good idea?
[ He has doubts, but he stands too. Uncertainty with him, but Robby breathes it down, speaks louder: ]
You don't know, or you don't want to? Your brother said he can't speak to you 'cause it's not safe. That didn't hurt? He's out there and he even won't let you help him -- and maybe you deserve it, right? You're his big brother, but he's the one who has to think about and worry about you.
[ He's laying it on, a harshest in his voice, and a force in his heart like indignation. A belief, because this is everything Mob's already told him. Robby steps closer ontoo the sand, but still with some distance between them. ]
You wanna be that brother? You think carrying that back home is better than getting it out now? You're a ticking time bomb--accept you're mad and get it out!
mob blinks, a little surprised but- the words are right. they're harsh and hurt a bit but they were already hurting. sort of like ripping off a bandaid, he guesses. robby's trying to show him a way to do this, and it involves looking at his feelings more.
that's scary. (97%) but he's right. he needs to look at them. if he goes home like this-
he thinks about ritsu. the bond might start to spark with hurt, then frustration, just a little. snippets of their fight if robby's looking close enough, and mob's hands curl into fists, throat going a little bit tight. he thinks about how they've been doing better and now they aren't. he thinks about how he's scared to bond with ritsu and that's the problem.
he thinks for a moment about ritsu little and bleeding on the pavement, a faint flash of that. (98%) about how they can't even fight like brothers. (99%)
the emotions that ends up peeking through isn't frustration, or horror, or fear, even though those swirl around in his head. his eyes start to bead with tears and when the scale tips over he lets out a little choked sob because what the fight really mad him feel was... sad. a little hopeless.
100%
it starts to rain, icy rain from clouds forming, the wind starting to whip up. luck might start to float a bit with the sand, which lifts. mob's hair lifts, robby's hair, the pressure in the area is intense, more so closer to mob. the rain is basically coming down in sheets then floating and whirling around, making everything a murky storm.
and mob's crying, the kind of choked, uncontrolled sobs of a kid his age. the bond is probably a little too intense with that, radiating grief like a leak into robby's head. it's possible his powers are leaking through too, so potentially enjoy the buzz of psychic energy down to your fingertips robby. you can now do cool psychic tricks for a while if you like.
probably not a good time, given there's a teen just sobbing in the middle of a hurricane. there's definitely debris flying around too from the wind, so. be careful.]
[ Before the explosion starts, it's like swallowing too much unintentionally: the emotions that push against their bond more, the memories, snippets, mixing with the feelings of the past and the present. They mingle with Robby's own, and he knows this kind of hurt. He knows hopelessness, pointed in and out, and feeling so incapable and stuck. You just want things to be better. You don't want (a mother) family to hurt.
(He might not know the feeling of being a risk to the world, but he knows about feeling isolated from it.)
The omen doesn't attempt to keep its form as the winds pick up. It's not emotions alone that pushed into Robby but the energy with it, that psychic energy--a force he's only ever been accustomed to under Mob's control (well, apart from the one time). He doesn't know how to exist with it, and it threatens to buckle him more than the rain and force. His protection is working; not to stop his vision blurry from the hail and the turbulent winds blowing, but there's an aura that keeps them off--maybe even Mob's psychic energy mingling with it, although it doesn't have to be unintentional.
Because what Robby used to is this tingling feedback, the manner it can help; and some part of him is remembering that, the times it's been used to protect him. A barrier, a buffer--he can't control it, wild as it is, unskilled as he. But it's an attempt, one that's in the back of his mind for what Robby can handle:
Emotions.
He's shit at them, in truth. He feels and cares too much and he's scared more than he ever likes to admit. But for as choking as these emotions are, Robby knows them. The sadness, the insecurity--he's been this many times at Mob's age, younger and older. His eyes water, his throat tightens, but he doesn't back away from them: Robby accepts. He doesn't try to smother them, soothe the pain, but in that intensity of their bond Robby feels to Mob what he can't say; coloured by his grief, but even so:
Let it out.
Luck can't be seen any longer next to Mob, but he probably isn't looking. But don't worry, if he does panic and think about the good boy--he slipped into Mob's warmblood necklace in the mayhem, his presence still felt. Hello, it's safer here...
Robby will need to keep down too, with the high winds blowing him over once. Let's hope that kneeling will help--and this protection.
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he feels a tiny bit better (90%) even when robby asks that and the answer isn't good.]
I don't know. He left the house. [sorry luc, back up to 91%, 92% because he can't be sure if ritsu is safe or not. and he can't ask.] I should know where he is, but he told me he doesn't want me worrying about him anymore. I... I know that doesn't matter, because he's my brother and I'm going to worry about him, and I'm going to help him, but-
[time to just go quiet again. shibe leans a little against robby's leg, a little sad doggy huff.] Maybe he's right about some things.
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Even though Lucas -- or Luck -- knows as well as Robby does that gnawing worry that exists. A dulled one, a lid being kept on top, but that still pushes against their link.
This is what being on the outside of his dad drama must be like, Robby figures. Even without the link, the mood of Mob--and Shibe--is palpable, though Mob may be more muted than most people. But when it shows itself, it's meaningful, telling for how well Mob's usually not doing.
Robby can sympathise. It's not an intentionally directed feeling, but it's there. ]
About what?
[ He wants to know what's on Mob's mind. What's bothering him, along with everything else stated. ]
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[the petting remains soothing, he focuses on it a bit as he talks. it makes the bond especially muted but it's a lot easier to talk about this when he isn't really feeling anything about it at the same time.]
We can't... be like normal brothers, because if I'm worried or upset like a normal brother would be then bad things can happen. He's had to worry about that a lot when we were growing up, we can't even have normal fights because he has to worry about that. I thought things were getting better, back home, but we're here now and he's worrying about it again.
And I am too. I didn't do the bond with him because- because I didn't want him to see my feelings.
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He just listens to Mob, his small incense pot wafting where it hangs. ]
There's nothing you can do about how your brother's feeling. You can do a bond with him, but--he needs to be ready to listen, and you both need to understand each other. Maybe he's just upset about the bond. [ A pause, and- ] I don't blame him. He got mad at me a couple days ago.
And that's alright, [ he continues, before Mob can say or feel anything about that, reassurance firm. ] I'm some guy who's good enough for his brother to have a bond with he's been hanging out here all this time? [ His tone is mocking, but it ends there. ]
You two...still need to learn to speak to each other. You're gonna have bumps like this. Give him time--but keep letting him know you're there and want this to work between you, alright?
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it's not like he can't understand. if ritsu wanted to get a bond with someone else and not him it'd hurt his feelings too. he just thought maybe ritsu understood he did want to get a bond with him, he was just trying to be careful. he was scared.]
I'm sorry, Ritsu can be kind of mean sometimes. [even without knowing the context he knows his brother when he gets in a mood. if he was feeling bad enough to be rude to someone older than him he was definitely in a mood, mob thinks. he offers a little bow without thinking about it- probably clear from the bond he has a little bit of experience apologizing for ritsu. only that one really bad time but still.] But he doesn't mean any harm.
[that older brother duty aside he considers what robby says, the blanket neutrality over his feelings shifting a bit. there's something to what robby's saying that sticks out.] To learn how to speak to each other... maybe that's true. It's just hard, because... well, what I said. How can you speak openly with someone it's dangerous to upset?
[a little flare of hurt there before down it goes.]
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But seeing as he's kneeling, and it seems they might be here a while, Robby shifts his weight some to get more comfortable. Paused for a moment, and there's a flutter--of something lonelier, a vague reminder of a father. ]
You do it because you want things to change, [ he answers, soft around the edges. ] That's what we wanted to do here, and what you wanted back home, right? It's not easy. But... it never was going to be. You have to deal with this too--people say shitty things when they're upset.
[ Even if they're true. There's that edge of a joke there, a tug at Robby's mouth that's not really a smile. Because this wasn't just about Ritsu's feelings, but how Mob was going to deal with it, and if they could make Mob's explosions any better.
He looks out towards the sea as he asks, ] What do you think would happen if you let it all out? On the beach.
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mob vaguely notices the flutter, and with it finally thinks of the fact robby isn't exactly new to weird, complicated family stuff. it makes him feel better, in a small way. also a little guilty, robby already deals with a lot, but this bond was supposed to be able this kind of thing. sharing when things were calm and when they were tough.
that was a good point though, what robby says. he settles more into just sitting, legs crossing as he considers it all.] It's worth it even if it's hard. It's Ritsu. I guess I'm just afraid maybe he would be better off without me around.
[another beat and he says] I don't think he wants that though.
[he could think on that for a long time but robby's suggestion surprises him a little. uneases flickers through the bond, though not rejection.] The beach would get pretty messed up? And you might get hurt. I... don't really know. I've never done that before on purpose.
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[ That, they can be in agreement of. But he's considering this next part carefully, his own idea. He looks at Mob's omen, then back to the boy himself. ]
We could see if it makes you feel better. I can move back. [ If Mob wants him to. ] But... you have the space. Maybe--letting it out can make you feel better for once.
[ There's nothing certain about the suggestion. Being certain would imply either of them knew, when they're both searching the dark about this. What will help, what won't? But that pressure in Mob--it's still there, even if he's pushing down on it.
The time before Mob exploded, it wasn't that big. They could be well on the sand, and nothing but that and maybe the water will get caught in it.
And maybe--just maybe--Mob might feel better. Wouldn't it be a good thing? ]
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he stands after a moment, staring out at the sea.] Maybe... I guess it might be worth trying. [robby's ideas have been good so far, and this made sense. if he wore all this out before it got out of control that would help, probably.
it does become very clear very fast mob doesn't really know how to let go. when he tries to dig into his feelings about everything, let his aura flare out, it ends up jittering back to his baseline. there's tiny bits of frustration as he tries to figure it out, tries to let go.
but it isn't working. sand lifts and swirls a bit before settling, his hair lifting a bit before he lets it fall with a very faint frown. he looks back to robby, something a little like shame through the bond.] I don't know how.
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And there's the stirrings, both visually and inside, but--there's a block, isn't there? There's no rise of emotion like earlier, when he wasn't being asked to do this, and Robby chews on his bottom lip as Mob looks over to him.
He looks down at the omen beside him, a furrowed brow. Quietly: ] Think this a good idea?
[ He has doubts, but he stands too. Uncertainty with him, but Robby breathes it down, speaks louder: ]
You don't know, or you don't want to? Your brother said he can't speak to you 'cause it's not safe. That didn't hurt? He's out there and he even won't let you help him -- and maybe you deserve it, right? You're his big brother, but he's the one who has to think about and worry about you.
[ He's laying it on, a harshest in his voice, and a force in his heart like indignation. A belief, because this is everything Mob's already told him. Robby steps closer ontoo the sand, but still with some distance between them. ]
You wanna be that brother? You think carrying that back home is better than getting it out now? You're a ticking time bomb--accept you're mad and get it out!
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mob blinks, a little surprised but- the words are right. they're harsh and hurt a bit but they were already hurting. sort of like ripping off a bandaid, he guesses. robby's trying to show him a way to do this, and it involves looking at his feelings more.
that's scary. (97%) but he's right. he needs to look at them. if he goes home like this-
he thinks about ritsu. the bond might start to spark with hurt, then frustration, just a little. snippets of their fight if robby's looking close enough, and mob's hands curl into fists, throat going a little bit tight. he thinks about how they've been doing better and now they aren't. he thinks about how he's scared to bond with ritsu and that's the problem.
he thinks for a moment about ritsu little and bleeding on the pavement, a faint flash of that. (98%) about how they can't even fight like brothers. (99%)
the emotions that ends up peeking through isn't frustration, or horror, or fear, even though those swirl around in his head. his eyes start to bead with tears and when the scale tips over he lets out a little choked sob because what the fight really mad him feel was... sad. a little hopeless.
100%
it starts to rain, icy rain from clouds forming, the wind starting to whip up. luck might start to float a bit with the sand, which lifts. mob's hair lifts, robby's hair, the pressure in the area is intense, more so closer to mob. the rain is basically coming down in sheets then floating and whirling around, making everything a murky storm.
and mob's crying, the kind of choked, uncontrolled sobs of a kid his age. the bond is probably a little too intense with that, radiating grief like a leak into robby's head. it's possible his powers are leaking through too, so potentially enjoy the buzz of psychic energy down to your fingertips robby. you can now do cool psychic tricks for a while if you like.
probably not a good time, given there's a teen just sobbing in the middle of a hurricane. there's definitely debris flying around too from the wind, so. be careful.]
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(He might not know the feeling of being a risk to the world, but he knows about feeling isolated from it.)
The omen doesn't attempt to keep its form as the winds pick up. It's not emotions alone that pushed into Robby but the energy with it, that psychic energy--a force he's only ever been accustomed to under Mob's control (well, apart from the one time). He doesn't know how to exist with it, and it threatens to buckle him more than the rain and force. His protection is working; not to stop his vision blurry from the hail and the turbulent winds blowing, but there's an aura that keeps them off--maybe even Mob's psychic energy mingling with it, although it doesn't have to be unintentional.
Because what Robby used to is this tingling feedback, the manner it can help; and some part of him is remembering that, the times it's been used to protect him. A barrier, a buffer--he can't control it, wild as it is, unskilled as he. But it's an attempt, one that's in the back of his mind for what Robby can handle:
Emotions.
He's shit at them, in truth. He feels and cares too much and he's scared more than he ever likes to admit. But for as choking as these emotions are, Robby knows them. The sadness, the insecurity--he's been this many times at Mob's age, younger and older. His eyes water, his throat tightens, but he doesn't back away from them: Robby accepts. He doesn't try to smother them, soothe the pain, but in that intensity of their bond Robby feels to Mob what he can't say; coloured by his grief, but even so:
Let it out.
Luck can't be seen any longer next to Mob, but he probably isn't looking. But don't worry, if he does panic and think about the good boy--he slipped into Mob's warmblood necklace in the mayhem, his presence still felt. Hello, it's safer here...
Robby will need to keep down too, with the high winds blowing him over once. Let's hope that kneeling will help--and this protection.
Just long enough for Mob to get it all out. ]